I don’t think any such thing as ‘commitment phobia’ exists. I am not one of those who are skeptical about mental health diseases, but I know one thing for sure, that no such term as ‘commitment phobia’ exists in DSM IV. In my opinion it is just a term some lazy dude coined together to get rid of some psycho girlfriend. But what the lazy fucker didn’t realize was the repercussions of that. A whole generation of other lazy dudes and dudettes using this term to hide the fact that they are emotionally handicapped. It is just a lame excuse and only weak need to take support of it.
But, it’s a rule, every lame thing, has to sort of ‘catch on’, and so has this term. Frankly speaking I feel like punching every whiny person out there who blames his/her break up to this reason. It’s like you aren’t strong enough to really look inside and search for the real reasons. How much more lazier can we get than this? We are getting emotionally obese as well. Many of us claim to be going through ‘one of those days’. Which categorically mean, feeling the blues? This is just a side effect for being emotionally obese. Those episodes of frustrations, those moments of weaknesses, those moments of despair, and those moments of apathy, all are the side effects of the same. Being emotionally obese is similar to being physically obese. However they don’t necessarily share any kind of relationship. A physically healthy person can be as much emotionally obese, as any physically obese person can be. One main casualty of this ‘disease’ is the effects on the person’s self esteem.
Any physically obese person goes through phases of self doubt, low confidence, and completely beaten self esteem. This is true for emotionally obese people too. They are actually nothing but individuals with fluctuating self esteem. They may actually suffer from low self esteem, which limits their attention to only themselves. They are never attuned to others, and more conscious about their feelings and reactions to situations. They want to appease others, and therefore monitor their every action. But they attend to only their superficial needs. They refuse to dive in deep into their emotions, and work with their self esteem. If they do that, they can probably get a better perspective on why they fail so miserably in their relationships.
I don’t believe in term superiority complex, because, it’s basically people with low self esteem pretending to be superior than they really ever be. It’s their conflict between the real self and the ideal self and only thing is that, they believe that the ideal self has won. Surprisingly, these people too seek help from the term ‘commitment phobia’. They can never take the fact that they were unsuccessful at a relationship or even a work assignment. Their ideal self will never allow them to take the blame on themselves. So this term comes to their rescue. Putting it all on commitment phobia, allows the individual to project his/her failure on something external to them.
I think we need to take a hard look on the reasons that we are giving ourselves to avoid having a rational dialogue with our own self. Once we accomplish that, we wouldn’t need to take support of such lame terms. And finally, it just makes one look really whiny and stupid.
